For to be free is not to merely cast off one's chains,
but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.
- Nelson Mandela -

Friday, February 23, 2007


I shouldn't be blogging... I should be writing a story, because there's this deadline and I had planned to have two more stories finished before we go away on the Arnside Youth Hostel weekend with the EO group.
I shouldn't be blogging... because the girls are still in bed and they should get up and have their breakfast and do educational things.
I shouldn't be blogging... because the house is a mess, the dogs need a walk, the cats need feeding and there's these forms for housing benefit to fill in.

I said to Ken this morning that I need more self-discipline. But when I think about it, self-discipline is a horrible thing! It means you have to discipline your Self! And after all these years I had just come to the conclusion that I need to nourish and nurture and love my Self, because if I don't, I can't be a good mother or a good wife or a good writer or a good person!

The fact remains that I need to do all those things I said I should be doing instead of blogging. I think. Well, maybe not. I've just read this article that says that teenagers would function and learn a lot better if they could sleep a bit more and that their most efficient time of the day is the evening rather than the morning. Well, Owen definitely doesn't benefit from long lie-ins, because it makes him grumpy. But he's already up and gone to Kielder with Ken, to do their weekly workday in the Birds of Prey Centre. So, I'll just let the girls sleep.
And yes, the house is a mess. But the kitchen, the toilets and the bathroom are clean and the mess is all part of homeliness. I've just read a lovely poem on the yahoo-site of the Far Out Crowd called This Is a Home Where Children Live, and I'm now convinced that my house is no exception to that of other people with (HE) children.
Both dogs are asleep at my feet, the cats are asleep on top of the cupboard, so the beasties have apparently accepted the fact that I'm doing something else right now. Walks and feeds later.
I'll fill the forms in tonight, together with Ken.
That leaves the stories to be written. I cannot escape that, because we desperately need the money and there's this deadline. So I'll set myself to it. Once I've got the first 1000 words down, the rest will come a lot easier.
I know what I'll do: I'll put some more birdfood on the feeder table just outside my window, so I can watch the birds while I'm working, I'll make myself a fresh pot of tea and something to eat, turn the little electrical radiator up one touch... and then I'll start working.
When I first nourish, nurture and love my Self, maybe I do not need to discipline it anymore...

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